Breaking down of existing forms

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“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön

For the past few weeks I’ve been seriously considering selling all of my fabric and crafts stash. There is an importance behind this thought, as we have quite a few intense medical bills that are already racking up. My reality is that some of my family members deal with rare disorders/health concerns that require trips to specialists, as well as numerous tests and lab work.

What also trails along in these thoughts, is that I grow weary of managing all these things. It is so difficult for me to move items from place to place, and I most surely do not have the “time” to work on ideas that might prove lucrative at some unknown future point.

And some real talk here — I’m just not that into being “artsy” anymore. My heart calls out for me to work with what brings me peace. Twenty some odd years as a self-representing artist has totally burned me out. It is hard for me to even work on a coloring sheet, or doodle in my journal. My hands yearn and long to heal and help. My heart wishes to sit in quiet moments with folks. My head needs to discharge all the stories and tales that have built up.

One of my favorite points in Zen is that we have the ability to change what is going on around us. Like the quote above states, most of what muddles up our thoughts is what we brought into our own space. Yes, there are the “others” that can cause little ripples…but invariably it is our own mind that troubles us.

Just a few things to ponder…

Much love,
Yarn And Zen

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