“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.”
― Masaru Emoto
It is no secret that I miss the chickens. There have been no greater teachers than these two legged little dinosaurs with wings. When there was danger, they knew all the right trees in which to hide. When they needed love, even the old giant rooster, they would come to the back porch for snuggles. If there were goodies to be had, they never horded them for later, but instead savored the delights as they were given.
Sadly…not everyone say the Wisdom of Chickens, so we had to find them a new home. It was a choice that was made out of fear, as I was too worried about upsetting the status quo. Finally, it seemed, life was settling down. There was consistency. Nothing was dramatic or horrible, and there was a bit of comfort.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert
And so began a very long period of what I’d like to call, “The Troubles.” Looking back at it now, Wisdom appears in the situations, but during the span of nearly four years, every single Fear manifested in my life. No exaggeration – it happened. During this time when nearly everything felt like it was on fire all the time, a little perspective was gained.
“Whatever is not yours … your letting go of it will be for your longterm happiness & benefit.” from the Na Tumhaka Sutta (Buddhist tradition)
There is a story about how a wise person learned how to “feed the demons” that lurked in his soul. Each day a meal was set out in front of each box that contained a certain aspect of life – greed, fear, longing, and so on. With the “demons” fed, they could no long cause harm, and stayed away from the Soul. In modern times there are several cultures and faith systems that participate in processes just like this – keeping that which bothers them in a safe space, so that life may never be troubling. But…how will we ever begin to shine, if we should never, not ever, feel a rub? (nod to Rumi for the inspiration)
Summer is coming, and I feel something new blooming within me. For so long it was my way to blather all about in online, especially social media, so that others could come along and see the Beauty that was presenting itself in my life. But what would happen was that the filters of their own issues presented in my garden. Their boogies, stinky old flowers, and insecure feelings can to roost in my safe place. Even more wild was that I actually let those things in my own self. Better to have something than nothing, right…even if it caused me more pain than growth.
The greatest fear of humanity, or at least one of the biggies, is being utterly alone. Advertising companies, Facebook, and politicians play upon that fear. We fall prey to the “us versus them” psycho-babble, allowing ourselves to despise the “other” instead of love them.
From First John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” Even though I’m not a big fan of “verse picking,” this pretty much sums up a lot of what Mystics say – fear is not the enemy, because love can cast out all doubt.
And how can one truly worry about being “alone” when we are truly connected to every little thing around us. Theologians and scientists agree – we are made of everything we see. The “kingdom,” so to speak, is within us…as well as all around us. We are amazing human machines, part of an intricate web of life that shines brighter than 100 suns.
keu/yarn and zen